Buzz The Bridge

Round Three Begins

Let's just admit while we're still admitting things that this site has begun to show an increasing lack of ability to track progress toward an MBA. Mostly since the MBA finished more than five months ago. These pages began as a way to briefly describe nonsense such as the OAR Story, then found a purpose as a journal marking progress and motivator against a "Plan". The idea being that if this Plan was published out in the world, it would have to be acheived.

As originally outlined in 2008 when I was feeling lost and directionless, the five steps of the Plan were:

1. Prepare for the GMAT
2. Do reasonably well on the GMAT to allow entry to a decent b-school in Europe
3. Attend the b-school and not fail while getting to know some very different people
4. Land a decent job overseas
5. Have an unbelievable life

I don't know, in hindsight maybe I should have put just a little more detail into #5. In short, I've somehow manage to complete my Old Fucking Plan, and I need a New Fucking Plan.

Thanks to some pretty significant inspiration recently, the New Fucking Plan ("NFP") is at present close to leaving the initial "Dreaming" phase, and well on its way toward the second step, a phase which much like Highlander 2 might aptly be described as "The Quickening". In this lies the consimilation* of a few broad ideas which together not only make sense but also aren't entirely new.

As I refuse to post a photo of Highlander 2, here's a link to Klosterman's 23 Questions

While the blueprints of the NFP are being finalized by the architect, while the rubble from the mercifully demolished "old neighborhood" is being cleared away and the concrete foundation of the new tower is being poured... to not keep these pages blank it makes sense to allow this site to fully take on the role it had at times started slouching toward: a journal of the Plans and Coincidences in life that make living at times so nicely surreal. "A dream journal of waking life", if you will.

Come to think of it, that may have been the description all along.

Let's have at it.

* Really, spellcheck? "TFN" gets the red underline but that doesn't?

Wrapping Up The MBA

So it's been awhile again. I've found myself coming up with random thoughts less often in the past six months, likely due to concerns about the present and the future blocking the ability to find the time to procrastinate with nonsense. So to catch up the faithful Kiwi and think aloud a bit, here's what's been up.

I'm writing this from the den in my parents' place out on Block Island, it's early January and surprisingly warm outside. A man can get used to global warming if it stays like this. The past few weeks -- well, months, really -- have been a mixed bag, with the personal/social going reasonably well, and the professional/academic for awhile being extremely tense, but maybe now starting to turn around.

It's been great to be back out on the island itself, and even if my parents and I are stepping on each others' toes a bit much in this time between finishing school and starting the new life, it's been great seeing them, and especially my brother Chris and his twins, Niko and Addy. Not to mention how great it is just to be out on the island and able to catch up on all the important Xbox downloads I've had to put off.

Addison "Cindy Lou Who" Lischke finally meets her match

Niko enjoying a healthy funnel cake breakfast

So while some of the more important concerns in life right now have to do with what's happening next, it's worth it to at least throw a shoutout to the graduate program that after 16 months is now fully completed. Last class attendend on Tuesday 20 December 2011. Last written paper saved and emailed Thursday 29 December 2011. Last exam submitted Saturday 31 January 2011. Done. So how did it end? Was the academia worth it?

Some of the content in the last term's seven classes was fine, with a few strong professors sprinkled in. The dynamic of our "Managing Services" class was amusing, with a bright young Serbian woman co-teaching the class alongside a more experienced yet also more theoretical Catalan hombre. They'd frequently interrupt each other and disagree on topics, yet somehow it worked. Interesting how conflicting ideas can actually help bring across an idea better.

Please lets never have to discuss this again

Other than this, however, most of this fouth and final term was disappointing academically, with much of the content just a rehash of the same strategy and operations topics from the prior year. I was assigned to "Project Management" despite having already taken a class called "Project Management" in our first term. A German professor told us that despite the honor code, if we missed a class for a job interview, he expected a note from the interviewing company explaining why no other time was available.

Additionally frustrating was that half or more of our classes consisted of exchange students there for a single terms. While many were fantastic and contributed a great deal, a few that ended up on my teams couldn't be pushed to do more than an hour's worth of work, total, across the whole course, which surely wasn't helped by being there with pass/fail grading.

What I find most amusing with these types is that most of them seemed to think there was nothing wrong with doing nothing, and if you were to tell them "Listen, [hypothetical name], you're a nice girl but also one of the most spectacularly lazy, non-self-aware people I've ever worked with", she would have likely cried and said I was mean. Which no one wanted. So the rest of us would just do what it took to cover the work. 

Whatever, it was absolutely worth it to both get a chance at the summer internship and spend four more months in Barcelona, to love the white flat at Sircusa 16, to be there to support a few terrific out of town visitors, and if the classes weren't the best, the strength of the coursework from September 2010 through May 2011 more that made the MBA worth its cost. Not to mention the people I came to know who I'll never forget. But more on the people later. It's going to likely be some time before I find the words.

Deserving The Finish

So been thinking through various entrepreneurship opportunities lately. Two recent complimentary events have together resulted in a product idea with interesting potential.

1. One-Off Marketing Events Can Work: This is actually a few years old but I keep thinking of the model again and again. See, back in 2006 or so some idiot's book The Game got to the top of the Amazon Bestsellers list by claiming to give any guy the skills and confidence necessary to pick up any girl.

A friend of mine who specializes in one-off marketing "events" contacted the author with an idea, and within six weeks the two of them plus a cameraman and video editor were filming "pickup lessons" with twelve volunteers in a mansion in upstate New York, and also filmed the newly-skilled "pickup artists" out in New York applying their lessons and trying to get girls' numbers. Afterward they edited the weekend into a 12-DVD box set and printed out a limited edition of 1,000 copies.

My friend then promoted the sets online, claiming a highly limited offer priced at $1,000 each and available for only a one-day sale. And they all sold out. Within six weeks they had made a cool million split four ways. $250K each for basically eight weeks of work.

Moral of the Story: There are people out there who will pay any amount of money for anything that helps their ego.

2. The Grimsvoetn volcano blew the f#%& up two days ago. And hopefully won't block me from getting to the UK for my internship. If it does, it's cool, I get that volcanos have bigger priorities. There's always the train.

But it's also made me realize that our grip on this planet is weak. The Earth can kill us at anytime, and there's nothing we can do about it. We're all going to die one day. As they said recently on A Game of Thrones, "There is only one God, and His name is Death". And that's fine, despite my seeming lack of aging I've accepted my own mortality. I just hope I have 40 to 50 years left and many grandkids before it happens.

But then what? My body is thrown into a wooden box, viewed for a day minus its life, then dropped into a hole in the ground? Or do I get burned to ashes in some shitty oven in some body-factory? Neither sound like an ideal outcome.

No, when my time comes I want my body to be tossed into an active volcano.

I'm currently looking into the requirements involved in getting the permits necessary for this to be done without major legal issue for the survivors.

The biggest problem right now is just the fact that I've never acheived anything nearly impressive enough to deserve a funeral that awesome. I have some serious living left to do if I'm going to earn that kind of going away party.

So these two points together suggest an idea: there are people who are willing to pay any amount of money if it's for something that's good enough for their ego, and a volcano funeral would go a long way toward a little ego-stroking. I'm thinking a flat $1,000,000 per service probably wouldn't be out of the question.

Now just to apply the four "Right"'s to make this happen:

1. The Right Active Volcano: Grimsdoetn is out as we need a volcano that's not too likely to erupt on burial. Mt. Saint Helens could work. Then again, a funeral that produces more funerals has an interesting viral component. Hm.

2. The Right Delivery Mechanism: A helicopter drop is too dangerous for the pilot. Trebuchet? Could work but might get messy with a bad gust of wind. A light drone would probably be best -- while remembering a need to keep the COGS down.

3. The Right Family Viewing Platform: A nearby zeppelin or other balloon-based floating platform would be most comfortable for families. If Jabba's royal sand barge becomes available that'd work too.

4. The Right Marketing: More than anything else we need to remember to stay respectful and humble. Hindus are already into fire-based funerals, and with the number of wealthy Hindus growing this could be the perfect initial target market. At the same time, if the business got booked on Oprah we'd have $100 million by the end of the fiscal year.

I really can't see any downside with the exception of consistently needing to block potential competitors from trying to enter the market with more sophisticated products involving things like spaceflight. First-mover advantage is everything in the radical funeral space.

Anyone know how to go about getting exclusive rights to the sun?

A Somewhat Unique Business Case

So I ended studying a rather unique business case for one of our classes last night. Learned quite a lot, probably because it was written by one of our great professors. It's rather amazing how week after week, reading 10-18 pages of something and then repeating what you read back to the professor just somehow never loses its excitement. I can't rememeber the exact details, but here's the gist of it:

"A manager is looking out a window wondering what to do next, staring at a symbol of his or her company.

The manager's company was started awhile ago, and its founders originally put a whole lot of work into making some highly original stuff, and actually did a good job of making their stuff really really cool.

But now the manager must figure out how to keep their company growing, and while they’re selling a fair amount of their original stuff, they’re also now making some money selling some totally different stuff. There’s also some cool new stuff they might potentially make. (But that stuff costs money.)

And now there's some competition in the marketplace for their stuff. And in certain markets there's not much demand for their stuff. Some of their competitors are fighting them on price, while others are selling their own stuff that's almost as good. Plus there’s a bunch of consumers who don’t care at all about this stuff. And others who really do.

So. Should the company maintain focus on the quality of their stuff, limiting sales, or commoditize and therefore change their stuff? Right now the manager doesn’t know what to do. He or she keeps looking out the window, pondering all these things, hoping the answer will come."

How does the story end? Where does the narrative go next? Will they ever figure out how to keep selling their stuff?

From what I can tell from all the case studies, business seems to be about continuously introducing problems and building tension, always ending in a few nice tables but no really satisfying resolution. Which is really no different from marriage, when you think about it.

And These Days Still Go Oddly Terrific

So this morning, the second of the new term, I head out for the usual 15-minute walk to the metro and decide that I'm bored with every song on my crap Blackberry.

I decide I want to listen to "Lux Aeterna" from the Requiem For A Dream soundtrack. See below.

As you may be able to tell, Lux Aeterna is a little... dramatic. Which can every once in awhile make for an amusing start to the day. You go into a little cafe next to the Ferrocarril to get a quick cup of coffee and it sounds like I am preparing to serve coffee to The One True God Jehovah The Almighty, in the last coffee shop in all of eternity.

It's a little upbeat.

Anyway, so because I don't have the song on my phone I try to play it on YouTube. Which fails because Blackberries are crap. It would have worked on the iPhone, but no. So now I'm just pissed and search for "YouTube not working on Blackberry 9700", which provides some tips. None of which are successful. I'm now more than halfway to school and give up, saying I'll put it on before class. But I get to school a minute before the session, sprint to get terrible coffee from the machine and forget about it.

Our Global Marketing professor starts the session and twenty minutes later plays a Sky Sports ad. A Sky Sports ad featuring... freaking "Lux Aeterna".

I love this life.

 

La Calçotadas Y Ti

Saturday Guntash and Paula organized a group of about 80 of us out to the countryside to have a light breakfast of wine and cheese, check out the ancient town of Montblanc, enjoy the Calçotada (green onion) feast and maybe have a little more rojo. From Wikipedia:

"The most traditional way of eating calçots is in a calçotada (plural: calçotades), a popular gastronomical event held between the end of winter and March or April, where calçots are consumed massively.

Calçots are then barbecued and dipped in salvitxada or romesco sauce, and accompanied by red wine or cava. Pieces of meat and bread slices are roasted in the charcoal after cooking the calçots."

The salvitxada sauce was ridiculously good, and required eating with not only Calçotadas, but also all available breads, meats, cheeses, and anything else that could be inserted in it and consumed. Will have to try to reproduct it. Too much fun with the usual clowns.

Leo.

In French it's pronounced douché.

"Sky."

Moses.

Calcotadas.

Vino.

Feasting.

Vineyard.

Heading home.